Best Year Ever

“Rae Dunn lied to me.”

Stunned.

Rae Dunn - for those who don’t know - is an artist who creates glassware and homeware with cute writing on it.  My Mama and I love this popular trend - I mean who doesn’t need a cute bee mug that says “Bee Kind” on it?

Why would my Mama say such a thing?

“My Rae Dunn agenda says ‘Best Year Ever.’”

Ahhh there it is. Rae Dunn is probably just as shocked as we are about 2020.

World War III was in discussion.

Australia was on fire.

Kobe Bryant died.

Then...COVID-19.

Best Year Ever. (she says with sarcasm)

It’s the first week of May of the year that just keeps on giving.  But maybe Rae Dunn isn’t completely full of it.

In January I had a week where my depression hit me hard.  A minor inconvenience set my mind on fire, well, really it just shut it down. It took me about 6 weeks to recover fully from it and get back into my normal routine.  Then in mid-March, I had a panic attack for the first time in over a year.  It hit me like an 18-wheeler buzzing down the turnpike.  I had the worst “hangover” from it in my life.  After much coaxing from my therapist, I recovered.  The next week we were sent to work from home to help prevent the spread of COVID-19.  No big deal.

I knew my mental health was my number one priority, so I set boundaries with myself - work happens in this room only, at the end of the day it all goes in my backpack, and the backpack goes to the door like always.  But the next day, I was laid off.

COVID-19 creates an incubator for mental illness - isolation, lack of routine, etc.

But I made a vow to myself that day - I’m going to come back stronger.

So this is how I’m determined to make 2020 the best year ever (even if all my concerts have been cancelled):

1 - Stronger Spirit || Every “morning” (even if it’s noon) I have my quiet time.  It’s normally time constrained, but now it is for as long as I need it.  I’ve taken this time, not just to read, but also dig deep into the tough stuff and get a little muddy from time to time.

2 - Stronger Control Over Thoughts || I walk every day outside (weather permitting).  I’m a thinker - it’s my greatest strength and greatest weakness.  I don’t let my thoughts go wild in the house, it’s now a walk-only activity.  This allows me to cut it off when I get back home.

3 - Stronger Healthy Habits || My evenings don’t change.  My 5:30-10:00pm routine is the same as it always should be (because I’m not perfect).  This allows me to keep a routine, but also reinforce habits I might have gotten away from.  In that time frame my goal “normally” is to work out, eat, shower, do a chore (I have one per day), and do something fun/relaxing.  These are things I threw away early in 2020 when my brain shut down and they were the hardest things to get back.

4 - Stronger Body || My prefered workout is weight lifting.  I set some pretty tough goals that I was inching towards and getting excited to beat.  I don’t have the equipment at home to keep that up.

The other thing I love about lifting is the mental aspect.  I have to think about breathing and form constantly.  I tend to hold my breath and can get distracted looking around and get crappy form.  I had gotten to this point of shutting the world out and totally concentrating on what I was doing. Not only was I getting stronger physically, but mentally as well.

Breathing and focus is such a big part of my mental health.  So I had to find new ways of bringing that into my physical health.  I fell in love with boxing and running.  Okay, so I’m not in love with running, but it is therapeutic at times.

Boxing is all a mind game - what is my next move, what is there next move.  It calls for complete concentration and focus.

Running is the same way for me.  I have asthma, so finding a breathing rhythm is really important for me to just survive a run. A big part of my anxiety is tensing my muscles.  When I run, I run like I’m anxious - every muscle tightened up.  I’m learning to let my body run loose.  But not too loose that I look like Betty Spaghetti running down the street. Running also requires a tempo.  Setting the right pace is REALLY REALLY hard.

But that’s not all just for running - it’s for life too.

COVID-19 has called for a halt is our way of life.  One day we are at work, the next thing we know we’ve been at home for 6 weeks.  Maybe this really is how 2020 becomes the best year ever.  Maybe isolation from the outside world is how God takes hold of our hearts and shows us the Truth about what really matters and makes us stronger because of it.

“What if we realize that the shutdown was physically unnecessary...but yet spiritually necessary…”

--Cody Carnes

We will inevitably all go back to some sort of “normal.”  When you return to normal will you come back stronger?